i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
