so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
