Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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