I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
