I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I have fence marks all over my body
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
