I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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