oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize
