it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
