Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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