so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
