Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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