so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
