There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
