margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
