are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
