she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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