i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
You took a bar mat shot.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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