guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
