i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
