just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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