like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
