it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
