she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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