weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize