Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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