i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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