That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Randomize
