i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
