is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
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