He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
