Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Randomize
