please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
