Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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