I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
