Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
