Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
