I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
