i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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