Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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