you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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