I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
