I puked a lego.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
