You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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