I think I died a long time ago.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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