Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Drunk walkin through police station. America
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Randomize
