YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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