There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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