Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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