How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
