Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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